


Four Times Sirius Pretended To Not Be In Love With Lupin, and One Time He Didn't

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Closeted Character, Gen, Heteronormativity, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Sibling Incest, M/M, Marauders era, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Jily, Mutual Pining, Oblivious James, Oblivious James Potter, Period-Typical Homophobia, Yule Ball, Yuletide, five things fic, five times fic, violent homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 22:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sirius Black doesn't know how to tell Remus Lupin that he's in love with him. The homophobia in his family and at Hogwarts doesn't make things any easier.





	Four Times Sirius Pretended To Not Be In Love With Lupin, and One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> I may be overkill with the "Graphic Depictions of Violence" warning, but it's a Teen and Up fic, so.

**December 1972 - House of Black Yuletide Dinner**

 

“You know, I don’t appreciate the rumors I keep on hearing about you and your sister at Hogwarts, Bellatrix,” Orion says, leaning foward on the dinner table at 12 Grimmauld Place. “I know us Blacks keep it in the family… but really, you could be more discreet about it.”

“Frankly, Uncle Orion, I think you should be more concerned about your son’s behavior,” Bellatrix says in an icy tone, looking down at her uncle through heavily lidded eyes. “I hear he’s been having quite the  _ gay  _ time in Gryffindor,”

“Why, yes, cousin, I am enjoying my time in the house of the lions,” Sirius says in a lighthearted voice, smiling. “Everyone is indeed very happy. Something I cannot say of  _ our  _ family.”

“That’s not what I-” Bellatrix’s protests were cut off as Sirius fired a charming smile at one of their other relatives. 

“Aunt Lucretia, pass the gravy, why don’t you?”

 

**June 1973**

 

“ ‘You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in a man, and your skills in Potions surpass those of any I have ever seen… I can’t go another summer without telling you how I feel.’ Who’s this  _ love  _ note written to, Black?” Rodolphus Lestrange tosses Sirius’s unfinished note at his feet. So  _ that’s  _ what had happened to it when he’d lost it in Flying class. Behind him, Bellatrix and several other members of his gang guffaw.

“Snivellus, obviously,” Sirius says in a cavallier voice, doing his damndest to make doe eyes at Snape. “We may be in opposite houses, and we may be enemies… but I can’t deny my attraction to him anymore,” 

“Fucking  _ fag,”  _ are the last words he hears spat at him before Rosier and Wilkes jump on him, using both dark curses and Muggle methods to beat him up. Snape watches, a shadow of confusion over his face, and Sirius is tempted to call him a coward, but he knows that’ll make everything worse. 

An hour later, Remus finds a barely-conscious Sirius on the ground, bleeding. He casts some healing spells on him, and then demands answers. “Sirius! What did they do to you?  _ Why  _ did they do this to you?”

“Think I may have gone a little far teasing Snivellus this time,” Sirius says with a smirk, thinking that at least it hadn’t been Remus beating him up. Who even  _ knows  _ how he would respond to finding out that one of his best friends was gay for him?

 

**April 1974**

 

“Black, why are you bringing flowers into my classroom?” Minerva McGonnagal demands when she sees Sirius, holding a bouquet of roses, at the door of the Transfiguration classroom.

“They’re for you, Professor,” Sirius says spontaneously, when he sees all of the eyes staring at him in a  _ bad  _ way.

“Oh, really? Not for Miss McKinnon? What have I done to deserve such a gift, Black?” Professor McGonnagal asks, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re for being such a good example… of a professor and witch, of course. And also, for being such a beautiful witch,” Sirius lies, putting the flowers on her desk.

“Go to your seat, Black,” Professor McGonnagal sighs.

Sirius takes his seat between Marlene and James. “I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be  _ brave  _ about confessing their feelings,” Marlene McKinnon teases him, and James rolls his eyes and whispers, “Great job almost revealing your secret…”

James is talking about being an Animagus, not about his desperate crush on Lupin. He’s too obsessed with Lily to notice anyone  _ else’s  _ serious crushes.

 

**Easter 1978 - Potter Family Easter Luncheon**

 

“What beautiful flowers, Sirius!” Euphemia Potter coos, looking at the flowers in Sirius’s hands. “Who are they for?”

“For you, for taking me in, and for the table,” Sirius lies. Chickening out of what he actually wants to do has become second nature by now.

“Oh, how sweet of you,” Mrs. Potter stands up and hugs him. “You know, James, I do thoroughly enjoy having a polite and generous  _ adoptive  _ son.”

“Suck-up,” James rolls his eyes as Sirius sits down at the table for lunch.

“He’s not sucking up, Sirius, he’s being  _ nice.  _ You could learn a thing or two about that when it comes to flirting with Evans,” Remus says, rolling his eyes.

 

**November 1978 - Hogwarts Castle**

 

Sirius stands in front of the mirror in the Gryffindor seventh year boy’s dormitory, palms sweating. This is it - the moment of truth. He’s promised to himself that he’ll either ask Remus to the Yule Ball, or stop this childish foolishness once and for all and just settle down with Marlene McKinnon.

Steeling his nerves and fixing his collar, he walks down to the common room.

“Wow, you make quite the dashing figure, Sirius. Is that what you’re going to wear to the Yule Ball?” Marlene McKinnon asks, running a hand up his sleeve and squeezing his shoulder.

Sirius flinches. “Yeah, actually.”

“Are you going to ask me to it?” Marlene asks, looking up at him hopefully.

_ This is it,  _ Sirius thinks, and takes a deep breath. “Actually, no, sorry.”

“Oh,” Marlene’s face falls. “Who are you asking?”

“Hey, Remus?” Sirius calls out. 

Marlene pastes a fake smile on her face. Sirius doubts she’ll realise who he’s asking until he literally asks.

“Yeah?” Remus asks, walking over to him. “Wow, you clean up nice. Special occasion?”

“Yeah. Fancy going with me to the Yule Ball?” Sirius blurts out.

“Uh… sure!” Remus answers, slightly taken aback.

From across the room, Lily laughs. “Bloody  _ finally.” _

“Wait, what?” James asks.

“James, you idiot,  _ he’s fancied Remus since first year. _ ” Lily says, rolling her eyes. 

“Wait, what?” James asks again.

Remus turns to Sirius. “Sirius… is she right?”

His secret’s out now, so all he can do is nod.

“You  _ idiot,”  _ Remus says, grabbing Sirius’s face and kissing him. 

The common room errupts into a frenzy of clapping and cheers. Sirius is sure there are some people glaring at them, too, but for once he doesn’t care.

For once, he’s free. 


End file.
